I miss him so much! He’s at scout camp and it was torture not getting to talk to him last night. It’s so hard, I hate it! Am I obsessive? AM I???

I started a diet today. For breakfast, I had two pieces of unbuttered whole grain toast. It was very… boring. Meh.

Look at how weird this is… I was just surfin aol pictures and look what I come across???!!! This is a rough draft of one of the pictures he gave me, and I KNOW he didn’t copy it because that’s his signature in the corner! Look at how amazing he is!

Poe met me at the park today and BOY was it weird!!!! I tried to steal his ipod and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we fell on the ground… We lay there with his arm around me and my head on his chest and later we lay with my head on his arm and his cheek against mine.

He kissed my cheek!!

HOLY FREAK!!!

I lost my VH yesterday!!! (VH stands for VIRGIN HANDS!)

Poe met me up at the park while I waited for my sisters and we sat under a tree. My nose is still a little sunburned from swimming a week ago, and I kept covering it up with my hand. “No!” He would scold me, then pull my hand away. I would pull away and put my hand right back. Well once he didn’t let go of my hand, and he laced his fingers through mine. There was a moment of surprise, like, “What is he doing?”  Then my tiny blonde brain caught up and I realized… He’s holding my hand!

I’m sorry if that sounds immature or naiive. But it was amazing! He sat right next to me and we leaned our heads on each other and he smelled really good. then my sisters snuck up behind us be we noticed them before they noticed us so we were safe.

Yay!

Poe and I are now officially… what? An item? I don’t even know anymore! I’ve told him I love him over the phone (about a week ago actually!) but we decided to remain neutral. Well, we’re not gonna stay that way for long! Yesterday I was reading at the park and I decided to just call him and say hi. We talked for about five minutes before I had to go. Five minutes later I look up and he’s there! He walked all the way up to the park just to be with me. And last night we totally upped the goo if you know what I mean… over the phone, we were being all cutesy and lovey and it was great! He’s my first love and I will always remember it!

Whenever he says something I don’t know how to reply to I chuckle and say, “You’re funny.” (It’s from Open Season!) Well last night after I said that he mumbled, “you’re beautiful.” I laughed and said, “You’re adorable.” He laughed too and said, “You’re adore-iffically amazing.” I whispered,

“I’m all yours.”

He whispered, “As am I yours.”

and we whispered that we loved each other over and over again until I was blushing and giggling quietly. I’m too young to feel this way about somebody… but I still do! We decided (well, I decided…) that he’s going to be the one to tell Anna about this if the need arises. That really takes the pressure off of me! He’s going to stay with me at the park again on Tuesday and I’m going to try to kiss him, if I can get up the nerve. 

^_^ I’m so happy!

maybe I’m the one… who is… a schitzophrenic psycho…! Actually I’m pretty sure I am! My friend Anna and I both went completely and utterly psycho last night for no reason whatsoever! Well there were reasons but they were both blown way out of proportion. And I suddenly realized something… I don’t just like Poe anymore. Oh, no. It’s gotten much worse than that. I don’t know how! I usually have this complete mental blockage against any kind of over dramatic thing, and this is definitely over dramatic. But somehow it happened anyway!

I think I love him.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do?! I am way into the whole soul mate thing and I’m positive he’s not my soulmate. But somehow I still have this deep connection to him! And the more I talk to him the worse it gets. He says he doesn’t love Bugga anymore. He’s completely over her… so it’s just me know. I don’t know if it’s true… I’m frightened! If he finds out how much I like him… it will crush him entirely when I change my mind. He wouldn’t be able to handle a breakup… and I don’t trust my mental stability enough to know that I won’t change my mind in a week. But just not telling him is eating me away from the inside out!

 What am I going to do?!!

so last night, Poe and I talked on the phone until two oclock! When I’m tired, it’s like I’m drunk. I get really loose and I just talk really easily. He asked if I would like him to be my first kiss. I said yes no hesitation!!!!!!! Darn me and my inability to fight against sleepiness!! Something big is gonna happen soon. I still haven’t told him. He has to know… especially after that… but it’s not official until I tell him. I will! Eventually!

so Anna, Way, Amanda and Poe went to see Kung Fu panda last night! I decided not to go because I am avoiding Way with all of my soul until I have completely convinced myself that I don’t like him. I’ve done it before! It’s never permanent…. take Poe for example. I had myself completely convinced that I would never like him, but he gave me a picture he drew of two people kissing… a REALLY REALLY GOOD PICTURE… and it stunned me out of it. The tiniest thing can break my carefully constructed concentration! Poe called me last night (as he does every night…) and informed me that he asked Way if he liked Anna, then if he liked me. I have been convinced that Way likes Anna! CONVINCED!!! But apparently… Way said he doesn’t like Anna. And about me: (And I quote!) “I’m not sure.” I think Poe is lying for my benefit. I think Way doesn’t like either of us. There’s no way that he could not like Catherine for sure and then not be sure about me. There’s just no way.

A couple days ago I went to the park with Anna, Poe, and Amanda. We were sitting on this bench and listening to one of our other friends telling us this story, and I look over and Poe is looking at me. We just sort of looked at each other for a few seconds until I couldn’t stand it anymore and started blushing and looked away. I asked Poe last night if he noticed me blushing and he said, “I wasn’t looking at your face. I was looking at your eyes. They’re amazing!” Ha ha ha ha ha!! I wonder what drugs this kid is taking?!

So I officially decided today: From July 5th to July 15th I’m going to do the Lemon Detox. It flushes all the built up crap out of your body and helps with cravings for things like snacks and nicotine and alcohol. It can help you lose weight and has some major health benefits for your colon and kidneys! I could really use this with my snack cravings… I’m rapidly gaining weight. Plus, you’re supposed to feel really good and full of energy afterward! Here’s how it’s done:

The ingredients for the lemonade:

One 2-liter drinking jug filled up with filtered water.

One large lemon (preferably organic).

1/3 to 1/2 cup of grade B maple syrup (or grade C if available). This is not the same syrup sold for your pancakes. It is usually only found in health food stores like Whole Foods or online.

Four or five taps of cayenne pepper (hotter is supposed to be better)

So you mix all this up and every time you get hungry, you drink some. You drink about three to five jugs of this every day, and NO FOOD IS ALLOWED FOR TEN DAYS. Drink as much as you need to satisfy your hunger. Then, every evening, you drink a mild to strong brew of Senna tea. This is basically like a laxative to help wash out all of the toxins in your body that the lemonade is loosening out of your stomach. Lastly, every morning, you mix two tablespoons of sea salt into a 12 to 16oz glass of water and chug it all down really fast. I don’t know exactly what this is for, I’ll have to look it up, ha ha.

After ten days, your body should be rid of all it’s nasty toxins!! For the next few days only eat light things… fruits, soups, and (two or three days later…) whole grain breads.

If you want to do this with me, (we can offer each other some serious moral support) leave a comment here with your email address (I won’t have it posted if you don’t want me to), I’ll email you from my Yahoo account and we can do it together!!! I’m so excited! Remember, I’m doing it from July 5th to the fifteenth… so you can eat all the crap you want for the fourth of july before you starve yourself. Happy eating people!

well technically it’s Sunday EVENING. But who cares? My sleepover the other night was mucho awesome, except that I kept waking up in strange positions. When you’re on a trampoline you tend to roll toward the middle. We actually went to sleep before eleven… how sick is that? And we slept in past nine. WRONG for a sleepover. Just wrong. Usually it goes: Stay up till three, wake up at six, go home and nap until nine PM… at this time, you wake up, brush your teeth, and go back to sleep. Somehow we got it ALL backwards.