Poe met me at the park today and BOY was it weird!!!! I tried to steal his ipod and he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we fell on the ground… We lay there with his arm around me and my head on his chest and later we lay with my head on his arm and his cheek against mine.

He kissed my cheek!!

HOLY FREAK!!!

I lost my VH yesterday!!! (VH stands for VIRGIN HANDS!)

Poe met me up at the park while I waited for my sisters and we sat under a tree. My nose is still a little sunburned from swimming a week ago, and I kept covering it up with my hand. “No!” He would scold me, then pull my hand away. I would pull away and put my hand right back. Well once he didn’t let go of my hand, and he laced his fingers through mine. There was a moment of surprise, like, “What is he doing?”  Then my tiny blonde brain caught up and I realized… He’s holding my hand!

I’m sorry if that sounds immature or naiive. But it was amazing! He sat right next to me and we leaned our heads on each other and he smelled really good. then my sisters snuck up behind us be we noticed them before they noticed us so we were safe.

Yay!

Poe and I are now officially… what? An item? I don’t even know anymore! I’ve told him I love him over the phone (about a week ago actually!) but we decided to remain neutral. Well, we’re not gonna stay that way for long! Yesterday I was reading at the park and I decided to just call him and say hi. We talked for about five minutes before I had to go. Five minutes later I look up and he’s there! He walked all the way up to the park just to be with me. And last night we totally upped the goo if you know what I mean… over the phone, we were being all cutesy and lovey and it was great! He’s my first love and I will always remember it!

Whenever he says something I don’t know how to reply to I chuckle and say, “You’re funny.” (It’s from Open Season!) Well last night after I said that he mumbled, “you’re beautiful.” I laughed and said, “You’re adorable.” He laughed too and said, “You’re adore-iffically amazing.” I whispered,

“I’m all yours.”

He whispered, “As am I yours.”

and we whispered that we loved each other over and over again until I was blushing and giggling quietly. I’m too young to feel this way about somebody… but I still do! We decided (well, I decided…) that he’s going to be the one to tell Anna about this if the need arises. That really takes the pressure off of me! He’s going to stay with me at the park again on Tuesday and I’m going to try to kiss him, if I can get up the nerve. 

^_^ I’m so happy!

maybe I’m the one… who is… a schitzophrenic psycho…! Actually I’m pretty sure I am! My friend Anna and I both went completely and utterly psycho last night for no reason whatsoever! Well there were reasons but they were both blown way out of proportion. And I suddenly realized something… I don’t just like Poe anymore. Oh, no. It’s gotten much worse than that. I don’t know how! I usually have this complete mental blockage against any kind of over dramatic thing, and this is definitely over dramatic. But somehow it happened anyway!

I think I love him.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do?! I am way into the whole soul mate thing and I’m positive he’s not my soulmate. But somehow I still have this deep connection to him! And the more I talk to him the worse it gets. He says he doesn’t love Bugga anymore. He’s completely over her… so it’s just me know. I don’t know if it’s true… I’m frightened! If he finds out how much I like him… it will crush him entirely when I change my mind. He wouldn’t be able to handle a breakup… and I don’t trust my mental stability enough to know that I won’t change my mind in a week. But just not telling him is eating me away from the inside out!

 What am I going to do?!!

so last night, Poe and I talked on the phone until two oclock! When I’m tired, it’s like I’m drunk. I get really loose and I just talk really easily. He asked if I would like him to be my first kiss. I said yes no hesitation!!!!!!! Darn me and my inability to fight against sleepiness!! Something big is gonna happen soon. I still haven’t told him. He has to know… especially after that… but it’s not official until I tell him. I will! Eventually!

so Anna, Way, Amanda and Poe went to see Kung Fu panda last night! I decided not to go because I am avoiding Way with all of my soul until I have completely convinced myself that I don’t like him. I’ve done it before! It’s never permanent…. take Poe for example. I had myself completely convinced that I would never like him, but he gave me a picture he drew of two people kissing… a REALLY REALLY GOOD PICTURE… and it stunned me out of it. The tiniest thing can break my carefully constructed concentration! Poe called me last night (as he does every night…) and informed me that he asked Way if he liked Anna, then if he liked me. I have been convinced that Way likes Anna! CONVINCED!!! But apparently… Way said he doesn’t like Anna. And about me: (And I quote!) “I’m not sure.” I think Poe is lying for my benefit. I think Way doesn’t like either of us. There’s no way that he could not like Catherine for sure and then not be sure about me. There’s just no way.

A couple days ago I went to the park with Anna, Poe, and Amanda. We were sitting on this bench and listening to one of our other friends telling us this story, and I look over and Poe is looking at me. We just sort of looked at each other for a few seconds until I couldn’t stand it anymore and started blushing and looked away. I asked Poe last night if he noticed me blushing and he said, “I wasn’t looking at your face. I was looking at your eyes. They’re amazing!” Ha ha ha ha ha!! I wonder what drugs this kid is taking?!

Ooooh crapnoodles, the jig is up! Yesterday, my friend Roca dared me to call Poe and answer his question about if he kissed me!! Never one to turn down a dare, I called him up and after a few minutes of stalling, I told him that I would probably kiss him back! Then last night, we were on the phone until one thirty. After about ten thirty, my mind goes psycho depressive… I don’t even have any idea why! That’s why I usually go to bed so early. But since I was up, I suddenly just out of nowhere started spewing some of my deepest darkest fears… things I don’t even allow myself to think about! And I was TALKING about them!! I curled up into a ball on the couch in the basement and started shaking and it sucked big time. Poe seemed unfased… he has his crazy moments too. He thinks I’m too happy all the time and that I’m bottling up all these emotions and that I need to cry. I do not!! Crying is not my forte. No way moses.

So every night now after nine I talk on the phone with Poe. We have mean question contests… we try to ask each other the meanest, hardest to answer question!!! I often refuse to answer his but I’ve found I have this amazing talent to force him to answer mine!! He asked me a few days ago what I would do if he tried to kiss me, and is still begging me for an answer. He’ll probably never get it!

I asked him what his favorite thing about me was, he said my eyes.

Awwww, PUKE! It’s so cute that it makes me sick.

I started laughing hysterically at the rediculousness of the situation… he said, “What? You don’t believe me?” I said, “Pfft, no! Why would you think that?” He said, “They’re AMAZING!!” Which only made me laugh harder!! HA!! I think he is highly suspicious of me liking him. But I’m not gonna tell him becuz then I’ll just change my mind… again! And that would be highly highly mean.

Hahahahahahaha!!!

Rachel over and out! ^_^

In the beginning, there was Rachel… and in the beginning, there was Anna. In the beginning, there was Rachel and her D in Algebra. So Anna came with Rachel after school to beg mr. Algebrateacher to cut her some slack. In the beginning, Poe was also staying after to have rubicks cube competitions with mr. Algebrateacher because they both have mad mad skills at such things.

And so Poe met Anna and Rachel. They became friends!! yaaaay! One day, Anna could not stay after, so Rachel stayed after alone with Poe. They walked home together and suddenly after that he was EVERYWHERE. He was walking her to her classes. He was sitting by her at lunch. Rachel heard talk of him being obsessive over Bugga but though it was silly because he didn’t seem that way…

Poe started texting Anna. Anna texted Poe back. Anna found out that Poe liked Rachel, and told Rachel after a week and a half of keeping it to herself because she promised to keep it secret. Poe told Rachel himself on Valentines day. A week later in a chat room, he announced to Rachel that he was in love with her.

Rachel was like, “HOLY CRAP.”

And so begins the new era of super drama which, sadly, can not be avoided!! So sad.

So now you know about the beginning!! In the present, Rachel FINALLY!!!!! got her cell phone and now Poe calls her every night after nine. EVERY. NIGHT. And Rachel isn’t sure she likes him, (though she’s getting more and more sure every day that she does…) but she won’t tell him!!! He is getting suspicious though, and asking oddly specific questions. How long will Rachel hold up against this pressure? How long will he not know? Forever I hope.

THE END!!!